#126 who am I

Life is full of changes, adaptations and adjustments — living through the stages of life: infant-childhood-teen-adulthood-old age…

At every phase of adult life we were confronted with life issues to cause one to discover and rediscover self — time waits for no man…

The first time I asked ‘who am I’ was during the teen years. I questioned meaning of life and purpose in living; today, at retiring age, I’m still asking the same question…only that I have more inputs and experiences, good and bad. I have yet to reach full understanding of who I am though. Glad I found Jesus whose life and ministry gave that ‘oomph’ to growing up and trusting God’s grace is sufficient even when I fell short of His glory.

During those teen years, the time we know yet not know…life was ideal, untainted yet. Followed life’s path after college entered the ‘real but harsh’ working world. Student life was carefree…be with and chose one’s friends; the world was at our feet then…but I didn’t enjoy that as I constantly wondered about making the world a better place without considering the changes within me.

In adult life, I sought for challenges and satisfaction in achieving, naively I didn’t seek financial rewards. I was initiated into real world and life — discovered I cannot choose those at workplaces…having to work alongside some ‘geniuses’ but eccentric in manners… There was no such ‘ideal’ boss — all bosses made use of staff to advance their career paths; life was never fair; every company or organisation had their rules and regulations and they had rights over you! (sigh…so much for the crap of human rights!!!).

Working life was a microcosm of the universe I live in — sometimes a human jungle; other times a paradise!

Young adult life found one in search of soulmate to share one’s life (through social pressure or life’s path for humans?)…for some, one never found that special person; some lost that soulmate through untimely death like illnesses or accidents; some lost through unhappiness and divorce.

If married, one live through the multiple roles one assume — spouse or parent (children); circle of extended family widened to in-laws;  social circles according to one’s lifestyle adopted; where one lived; belief one held; profession or vocation or positions at workplaces…

Parents are fraught with children growing up and education and their marriage; eventually one meets the empty-nest syndrome.

The full circle comes at the golden years or rather, the ‘forgottens’ in life…some single by default and some resulting from loss of spouse…then one fades away…in a whimper.

Cest la vie!