Yesteryears, a man and woman married for life — divorce was frown upon; live in one location for a life time; and held on a job all one’s life.

Today, it is not unusual to change jobs, spouses or homes every few years —

  • jobs: for better prospects and better money;
  • spouses: together for a few years and decided to call quit but remain friends;
  • a child having more than one daddy or mummy or having one parent only!
  • homes: upgrading for better image and for investment! 


Yesterday, we throw away worn out and tattered old jeans because the jeans have a hole in the knee.

Today, many will spend a fortune on the latest fashion — jeans with a hole in the knee! Wear worn out jeans to be hip!


I’d been thinking a lot about anger lately.  

I know anger is a normal human emotion…a fact of life. There is nothing wrong with anger per se.

The problem is when the anger gets completely out of control…when it won’t let go…when it does some real harm to others…when it lashes out irrationally and makes one regret after…when one cannot see the bigger picture or another’s point of view…

Cursing, swearing or colorful charged words start flying…thinking becomes exaggerated and overly dramatic!

I recall the remark once made by this elderly friend who brought me to a rodeo long time ago. The atmosphere was highly charged. The cowboy was challenged to stay on the angry bull for several minutes when released in the ring. Those who couldn’t stay on were thrown off the bull and flung in the air.

He said, “You see the cowboy just stay on it. He flowed with the energy of the angry bull.” Then added, “Just like taming our anger.”

Indeed, the cowboy did not pacify or try ways and means to take control of the bull. He did not stop the bull or bring it back to the pen. He just stay on it. The cowboy flowed with the energy of the anger. He knew by forcing the angry bull to calm down before he’s ready, would only make the bull angrier and panicked more.

Such is paradox of life…

#45 buying happiness

I heard on the radio that ‘money can buy happiness’ and then read…

Elizabeth Dunn, a psychologist, at the University of British Columbia made a survey on 630(?) American volunteers. They were asked to rate their general happiness, report on annual income and detail their monthly spending including bills, gifts for themselves and others…to charity. It was found when participants were given $5 or $20 with specific instructions on how to spend it returned stating they were happier when that was spent on others.

Money can buy happiness — was this how she concluded? What were the variables and biases?

This kind of reporting is warped. Statement like — money can buy happiness — is not only frivolous but leads to misguided thinking.

Was not happiness found in the ‘act of giving’ rather than the money in buying the gifts? Or, having money to buy gifts for others that bring happiness?

Is spending on others that happiness flow? Or spending on others to feed one’s ego that momentary happiness flood?